16th April 2014
Link reblogged from umok with 86 notes
eren/levi » rated explicit » [ full work ]
Prison Rule #-0: Don’t get attached.
Words hurt but actions bleed. Promises are just promises until they’re broken. It’s then that they become the symbols of betrayal.
I’ve never counted days, because days have never mattered to me, but after his leave, I begin counting the dark days.
Three, four, five.
When you’re here, wallowing in your self-pity, you lose time. It’s not because time is hard to keep track of, but rather because time’s too long. A second drags on for hours, and sometimes you feel suffocated. You want out, but there’s no way out.
I can always escape from prison, but what will change? Nothing. I will live as a monster infested demon, and with each step I take, I will drag on the past with steel chains. There’s no way out of that. There’s no letting go.
Trust me, I’ve tried to let go.
I’ve tried to let it all go.
I’ve tried to yank myself from these shackles, but steel isn’t weak. It doesn’t break easily, and the more I tug, the stronger it gets.
Twelve, thirteen, fourteen.
One time — I don’t remember when, but it was within the four months — I yanked too hard, and I fell face first into this pit of darkness. I didn’t want to come out of it, but when I did, Erwin was there. He’s always there, watching, waiting, and I fucking hate that. He’s always up my ass about anything and everything these days. But no, what’s worse is that he guilt-tripped me. “All I’ve done, I’ve done for you.” Those are his exact words.
All he’s done, he’s done for me?
All he’s done, he’s done for himself. No one ever does things for others. It’s a selfish world, and the selfish succeeds. That’s the Rule of Law. No one’s above it.
Not even him.
Thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two.
I feel as if I’m going back in time, as if meeting him and going through all that shit never happened. If given a choice, I’d choose to forget, but see, there’s no choice, because there’s no letting go. I can erase his face, his voice, his name, his touch, his smell, but I can’t erase his memories. I can’t erase all he has done for me. All he has done to bring me to this hellish purgatory. But at the same time, I wonder if he really has done anything or if it’s just me.
Did he even feel the same way?
Were his promises nothing but falsified words?
Let’s go back in time. Let’s change everything.
If my father hadn’t left, I wouldn’t be here.
Let’s go further than that.
If my grandparents cared more for my mother, she wouldn’t have turned to drinking. Therefore, my father wouldn’t have left here, and in turn, she wouldn’t have left me. If I were to change my grandparents’ attitude, where would I be? At a CEO position, probably. I’d be making millions while taking pleasure in firing people. I’d be going home early and eating luxurious dinners with my wife and kids. I’d be happy, but I’d be ignorant. I would be the perpetrator of all the lies and broken promises. I would never be the receiver.
He doesn’t come back.
I’m sitting in my cell alone when the alarm blares. It’s dinnertime, but that’s not the dinner bell. All of a sudden, the guards are scrambling away from their positions. There’s shouting, and there’s mayhem. It’s all too familiar to me that I don’t even flinch. Someone’s going to get hurt, this I know, but I don’t go out of my way to watch.
There are gunshots.
I know this isn’t something small, but I stay still.
Prisoners across the way are coming out, and they’re running in all directions. That’s strange, because despite our differences, we’re uniform. We run the same direction, the same way. But just looking out, there’s no order amongst them. They’re losing their heads going this way and that and —
Something huge blocks my view of them.
At first, I don’t comprehend it, because there’s no way I’m actually seeing this, but I am.
There’s a horse. A huge, black horse. I’ve seen many ridiculous things in the past, but never this ridiculous. I don’t how the hell the horse got in here, nevertheless managed to get past all those guards, but it’s here — and trust me, I’m not lying; this scenario is too stupid to make-up.
And the source of stupidity itself is —
I recognize that voice all too well, but at the same time, I don’t recognize it at all. I don’t recognize the sultry volume and boyish tone, and when I really look, I don’t recognize the man either. Dark hair, green eyes. A generic composition of genes.
"Levi, come on!"
I stare at his outstretched hand. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
"I made a promise, didn’t I?" He pulls up on his reigns. The horse trots into my cell. "We don’t have much time. Take my hand."
Once upon a time, I read about a prince saving a princess from her horrors — and I’m here to say that I’m no princess. I’m no fucking damsel in distress.
"Were you dropped on your head as a child? Repeatedly?” I ask, even though, clearly, he had been.
"I, uh —"
"Piss off." Fuck me sideways and call me Fiona if I ever ride out into the sunset with him on horseback.
“But Levi —”
"Don’t you ‘Levi' me.”
"I came all this way to fetch you —"
“Stop trying to make fetch happen.”
This must be some sort of dream.
Some sort of really bad dream.
There’s more shouting.
He’s growing frantic with his words. “I’m not — I-I came to break you out, and I promised that, and that’s what I’m doing! I’m never gonna give you up. I’m never gonna let you down. You said you wanted to see the ocean together, so let’s go see it — I can take I-8 all the way to the Pacific Ocean.”
"Crazy for you." Oh my fucking god. This fucking dork. “Come with me, Levi. I swear I’ll take you there.”
I narrow my eyes.
And then I let it go.
I can’t hold it back anymore.
I gotta let go.
So I do.
I grab his hand and allow him to help me up onto the horse. After mild adjustments, I wrap my arms around his waist, and off we go, riding into the sunset.
I’m too lazy to tell the rest of what happened, but we live happily ever after.
april fools. :^)
also the horse thing was prompted by boys-in-leather-straps — happy belated birthday, darling ~~ <3
oh and if you want to keep this thing, i’d suggest you reblog this post b/c i’m going to delete that chapter off ao3 soon haha
love you guys xoxo